Is it a wonder as to why people are so cruel? One person tells me it is because people are born evil and it is survival of the fittest. Another says that people are born good but taught evil, and that also makes it survival of the fittest. Stare into the starry, snowy, cold night and just think about people. Think about the war, and what you would have done if you were in power, and think of love and if it is real. Are the words we use and empty word that has a blank sheet of paper ready for you to write the meaning, or is it just that the meaning has been lost and we were forced to make up our own?
Love. Such a simple word, but has billions upon billions of meanings. Have you ever thought about what the true meaning of love is? I have stood outside with my smoke, warm black jacket with fur lined hood, and my cute light jeans that were tucked into my new heels Tyler had bought me, staring into the dark starless sky watching the snow fall onto my warm, slowly cooling, face. The only thing I could think about was love. The meaning and how even though I didn’t know the true meaning I was feeling it. Just as I looked down, smoke from the side of the mall started and Tyler was walking towards me, in his black trench coat and gray hat, through the smoke while it snowed on him. This is my perfect movie.
My movie. Only mine. The movie - that had started out being poor and bullied. To the love and addiction of cutting. Next the moving and dealing with my parents splitting and getting back together. The continuous making and losing of friends. My movie that led me to Tyler, and all the love I could feel in the world. The sequel to my film has only begun this year.
I look at people and stare, not to judge, but the try to imagine what their movie is. When their movie had started again, or if was a continuous path. The pain they must have felt in their life. The tears they have shed over loved ones, over guilt, and most of all over others doings.
I walk the school walls of life, and the only thing I can do is see the little bit of hall I am in right now. I can never see ahead of me like I used to, nor can I see what is behind me. Constantly living in the now. The anger I felt yesterday forgot. The tears cried over my baby, long gone. My hallway will always have lockers on both sides. There are no doors, only because I will never have to choose from two doors again.
Have you ever thought about what made you better than the person beside you, or standing in line behind you? Did you, instead, wonder about why they are better than you? Is it the feeling you get from that person? Are we only mere dogs that only understand energy, instead of words? Are our tears only that of someone who is week or strong? Do we continuously strive for better because we need to survive, or because we know what we deserve to have? Do we cut because the blood brings out the pain you couldn’t?

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My blood will forever not run in only my veins. I am now apart of the world, and the knife I used the bleed. I am forever a part of you and your heart beat. I placed a marker in your life, brighter than all the rest. I am your blood, your breath, and most of all your thoughts. I will forever be your smile, but never your frown. I will always be the one that caused your blood to run free from your veins. Most of all I am life, and I will forever be your lesson.
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Have you ever stared at your scars? Stared at them and wondered about them? The story behind them - why they came to be? What about the person that you were with - and the feelings you felt? I have. I wonder all the time. I make sure I remember, and that I know what I made it throw - why I survived. I stare at my wrists.
I watch the news and shudder at the thoughts of the innocent people dieing in war. I wonder if they will stare at their own scars and ask why. They have lost something – their innocence.
Do you accept the emotions you feel, or do you hide them? Is it strength to hide them? I will be strong and stray away from the weak. When I find that some I loved died I will hold it in. I will end up being another statistical suicide, because I need to be strong. I will be strong and show my tears. I will let the world know I am here and I feel it too.

Tonight I will cut. I will cut out today, and move forward. I will learn love, and I will define it. I will be strong, and cry when I need to. I will witness the lie, and not be afraid to deny.